Let’s get right into the swing of things! (But in case you missed part 1, you can find it here!)
Danielle M. She kind of looks like Scarlett Johansson (and yes, I had to google the spelling of Scarlett’s name.) I like her already! And it looks like we’re starting round 2 on a good note; no mention of dolphins anywhere in her questionnaire! …oh. Sad. Found this season’s sob story. Her fiancé passed away. She’s also not as young as a lot of the other girls; I think she’ll end up going pretty far!
Dominique. One of her favorite movies is Titanic, which is another recurring answer. I can’t say I would list that in even my top 10. To each their own, I suppose. (Well, to each the same as at least half of the other girls, but you get the point.) She also mentions Chipotle burritos multiple times, and that’s totally something I can get behind.
Elizabeth. Okay, she has (Liz) next to her name. Why not just go by Liz in the Bio then? Especially if that’s what she’ll go by on the show. I don’t get it. Huh. And she’s a doula! I’m sure they’ll make a big deal about that, since she’s not a model, RN, or small business owner. (Am I the only one having flashbacks to ED specialist, Evan?) YES. Liz is the realest of the real so far. She admitted to picking her nose while in her car and being a Belieber. You do you, Liz.
Elizabeth. Ah, now I understand why Elizabeth #1 is going by Liz. It all makes sense. “Where do you meet guys? … I’d prefer to meet through mutual friends or in front of millions of weekly viewers. :)” So good. She knows how absurd the whole premise of this show is. Hmm she also has misophonia, or the fear of sound. (More specifically, “ a condition in which negative emotions, thoughts, and physical reactions are triggered by specific sounds.”) Interesting. I’m sure the producers won’t play that up at all.
Hailey. Can we just pause for a second to think about all of the different ways people spell the name Hailey? Too many. Ooh, she’s Canadian. Think they’ll play it up as much as they did Daniel? Probably. She loves 90s Sheryl Crow. Ya know, she totally looks like she’d love 90s music. In fact, she kind of looks like she’s just straight out of the 90s. “Only children are strange.” Well – tell us how ya really feel, Hailey! Hah. I don’t think she’s going to last too long. (I don’t have any reasoning behind that.)
I’m kind of bored by this middle group of girls. As hilariously un-diverse as the dolphin gang was, at least they had interesting answers! I’m a little bored. But I’ll keep on keepin’ on – full steam ahead!
Ida Marie. I can’t decide if I like Ida Marie’s shirt of not. On the one hand, I think it’s pretty unique and something I’d like to wear. But on the other hand…it kind of looks like you could make it for $3. The world may never know. I also half expected her to be ex-Mormon or ex-Amish. Sorry for making judgements on your name, Ida Marie!
What is your favorite all-time book and why?: I need to read more books.
Who is your favorite author?: Again, I need to read more books.
I wonder if these questionnaires consist of like…25 questions, and the producers just choose the most interesting answers. Oh jeebus. If Ida Marie could be any fruit, she would be a strawberry because “they are sexual and taste great with wine.” Just…no.
Jaimi. She has a “symbol of her initials” as a tattoo. Does that just mean…her initials? She also can apparently bench press men with her legs. That’s what she’d do to impress a guy. Wouldn’t that just be a leg press? Details. I wonder if she’s actually done that, or only leg pressed the weight of what she thinks a guy would weigh. Ohhh oh oh. I hope she leg presses Nick during her limo exit/introduction. That would be hilarious. Annd nope, she lost me. She is a “Pesco-pollo-lacto-ovo-paro-tarian.” Is it really easier to say that than “I eat fish, birds, and animal byproducts like milk” ?!?
Also, I’m only HALF WAY through the list of girls. This is absurd. I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Oh, but it’s after 5 now. Time to pour a glass of wine. But really. Only half way. Why so many!?
Jasmine B. If I had nothing else to do in my day to day life (and wasn’t married, or attached to anyone in any way) I would be a flight attendant like Jasmine B. I would probably be a little bit miserable – so many grumpy people – but just think of all the places you’d get to visit! Annnnd her favorite author is Steve Harvey. Really?! There are so many great authors out there and you choose this guy.
Jasmine G. Jasmine has a tattoo on her inner lip. If my reading comprehension is on point, it’s a sorority tattoo. Dear sister, I greatly appreciate you not getting your letters tattooed on the inside of your mouth. Unless there’s something I’m unaware of. Annnnd apparently we’re starting a new trend, at least with the Jasmines; admiring people that probably shouldn’t be admired. She would like to be Guy Fieri for a day. Alton Brown, Anthony Bourdain, Michael Symon…..if you’d like to be a chef for a day, there are WAY better choices. A lot of people also would like to be Olivia Pope from Scandal. I’ve never seen it, but I guess she’s pretty BA?
Josephine. Josephine’s occupation is “Unemployed Nurse.” At that point wouldn’t you just pick something like “Dog Walker” or “Aspiring Dolphin Trainer”? I would. Unless she’s hoping to get a job out of this, in which case – good luck, chica. Oh. And she’s not 5’7″, not 5’7.5″, but 5′7.75“. That .75” is super important, obviously. Omg. Okay. So when I first saw her picture, I thought ‘Jew nose‘ to myself, but wasn’t going to type it since that’s a little mean. But she IS Jewish! So I feel a little less bad.
Kristina. Well. Shoot. Kristina’s bio got heavy reeeeal fast. She’d like to know if her biological mother thinks choosing alcohol over her kids was worth it. Womp. Ohmygosh, and a fictional character that isn’t a Disney character! Kristina is an individual! 😛 (She would like to be Fiona from Shrek, in case you were wondering.)
Lacey. Lucky (?) number 20! Okay and I like her already. She would eat a meal with Shakespeare, JK Rowling, and Joe Jonas. That is quite an excellent selection of people. Wow. And she has 2 degrees and knows Arabic. You’re too good for this show, Lacey!! Well, everyone is, really. But especially you! I can’t decide if I want her to do well because she’s awesome, or if I want her to get out early so she can do something more with her life. We shall see!
Annnd with that, we have 10 more girls to go! That will have to wait for another day. This is hard work! 😛